summer has officially begun

Since memorial day weekend is here that in america means summer has officially started. Kids start forgettin about high school and start getting fucked up since its that time. and im usually one of those kids but i’m going to try not to do that. i guess ill wait until summer actually starts which is june 21. right now im suppose to be meeting up with this kid i went to high school with down the block for a good fuck but i went to hot yoga today so im tired as fuck and i dont feel like moving. anyways today went by alright, i still hate bein home but im learning to just take it one day at a time. sometimes i look back on high school and ask myself how the fuck did i live here? and then i actually think about the past and realize that i was on the verge of suicide during then which explains a lot. anyways being back home is like going back into your mothers vagina again. your trapped, trapped in a way were yes your comfortable, but this comfort soon passes over and becomes highly irritating. thats deffiantely how i feel these days. i feel like if i do hot yoga every day and dedicate my life to just working out, ill be in amazing shape by the time im out of here. and thats truly all i want right now. i just want to go back into the city and get dressed up everyday and just enjoy life. at home i feel so miserable its so hard to work out. but im really going to make an effort because i totally hate my body right now. another reason is being the gy that im really in love with is away doing his thing, and by the time he gets back i want him to be all over my thing if you know what i mean. i want to look so hot that hopefully he’ll forget about his fat girlfriend and hang out with me. or he’ll just continue to cheat on his girlfriend and hang out with me. im totally fine with either solution as long as i look hot as fuck and skinny as fuck. it so crazy to me how skinny i use to be. im really going to try to become like that. even if it means being a total psyco freak in working out. this is truly because i feel like if you look hot and good then you also feel that way. i probably feel like shit bc im like gaining weight by the hour and eating anythin that comes into my sight. i dont think i have a problem, but if you consider being lazy a problem then i guess i have a problem. sometimes getting back into work out mode is hard, especially if all you’ve been doing is smoking weed and drinking. the only exercise i have been having is sex, its a good exercise but its just simply not enough. anyways back to the kid i was suppose to be fucking right now. i just canceled on him via text and he’s being needy as fuck. im just too tired to go over there why can’t a guy understand that. but i dont know my parents aren’t home yet and i do kind of want to get some dick… ahh so many situations to deal with. i dont know if i should take the risk and go for a quick fuck and get home before my parents or risk getting home after them. hmm i have to make decisions quickly and get off the internet. im out 

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